She’s Leaving Home


My eldest recently informed me she thinking of leaving home and is planning to move in with her boyfriend. She is hoping to have moved out before the next semester at University and her imminent departure has unleashed a spectrum of emotions I wasn’t quite expecting.

On the one hand, I will be jumping for joy at the prospect of having a totally empty room to transform. We have been feeling a little cramped recently, despite a huge declutter, so the extra room will be a bonus.

On the other hand, I’m still reeling from the shock that she is leaving. Don’t get me wrong it’s not like I didn’t expect it. I assumed she would leave when she started University (she didn’t). Not to mention I moved out at 19 but then again I had a baby on the way.

Will the kids cope?

My main concern, once I got over the shock, was how the little ones would cope once she’d gone. They love having her around, although it’s not all that often we are all together as a family any more. Hopefully they will be resilient enough to just accept it and not really be affected by it all. I mean it’s not like they’re never going to see her again. I’m sure she will be back when she’s hungry, skint or in need of something else.

One thing I have found recently is that Anya keeps getting upset when her big sister isn’t at home and often ends up in tears crying about missing her. This is completely out of character and currently has no logical reason. As yet she is not fully aware that Olivia is moving out and on the whole nothing has changed.

On a more personal note, I’m also a little apprehensive about it all. I’m confident she is ready for her shot at independence, but she is also a little naive about it all. Because of this, while I may be silently wondering if she knows what she’s getting herself into, I’m also formulating some contingency plans, such a takeout menus 😊

One of my biggest fears is that she’ll be responsible for doing the cooking. She’ll admit herself that she struggles to boil and egg, so I do worry that she’ll set fire to something. Over the years I’ve tried, and ultimately failed at most attempts to teach her to cook. Luckily, her boyfriend works in a restaurant so I’m hoping he can teach her what I haven’t managed to.

Everything will be fine

I do feel that in some ways I’m looking at the whole thing like some kind of social experiment. Watching to see if they will succeed or fail in their attempts to become a domestic god/goddess. Waiting for reality to hit when they realise that the housekeeping fairy doesn’t actually exist; worrying about them realising budgeting in the real world is hard because money doesn’t grow on trees. That said I’m pretty certain they’ll work it out just fine. However just in case they start struggling I have already begun to put together some bits to help them on their way to an organised and efficient home.

On a more positive note, I know they won’t starve. They are both more than welcome here for meals (although I may need a bit of notice) and my mum is always willing to provide a hot meal for them.

Debbie x


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